Hagane
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: [Gundam: Iron Bloodied Orphans] They were own stubborn in their own way, and that made it very difficult to see the whole picture.
1. Ein's Pride

**A/N:** Written for the Diversity Writing Challenge, e1 – a poetry collection.

* * *

 **Hagane**  
 _1\. Ein's Pride_

He was a proud man  
but oh so very blind.  
Blood stained his lips  
and filled the shells of his eyes.  
He saw a foolish fight,  
an olive branch snapped  
and cast aside  
but missed the sight of ants  
marching with back-breaking loads  
and scrambling amidst mounds of soil,  
where a little pity could catch their eye  
but not fill their stomachs  
nor save their soils.


	2. Kudelia at CGS (Kudelia I)

**Hagane**  
 _2\. Kudelia at CGS_

Her words made no sense to them: too long and complex  
and might as well have been in a different language  
for all it meant to them. But she was another tale:  
her honest, pleading eyes reflecting an innocent soul  
and the white skin that hadn't been torn by blood  
nor sun nor snow…

And their rough calloused hands are torn  
with blood and metal and the dirt of labour  
but their eyes were clear, still clear.  
They could see her inexperienced, naïve soul,  
and behind them, the space to grow.


	3. Spare Circuits (Mikazuki I)

**Hagane**  
 _3\. Spare Circuits_

He didn't use many of those circuitries, he thought.  
There were so many of them. Such a waste  
and pity he couldn't put a few more  
into Barbatos instead. But maybe that's just  
the implant in his spine  
talking, because Barbatos is a machine  
that doesn't need a brain.  
Still, most of the time nowadays  
they're one and the same.


	4. Dysfunctional Family (Orga I)

**Hagane**  
 _4\. Dysfunctional Family_

He's already got one duckling trailing behind  
and suddenly he's got a horde.

His own fault, of course.  
He's the one who cracked all those eggs  
and spilt the yolk.

Mika's fault too, but he gets to play hero  
and be out and about and altogether too far  
to trail behind. The daddy that goes to war

And he'd have clocked anyone who thought  
he'd be the mama at home.


	5. Cracking Plates (Gaelio)

**Hagane  
** _5\. Cracking Plates_

They'd grown up together, pieces  
thrown together but they'd never  
quite fit and he hadn't even realised  
there were cracks between them  
and jutted corners that rubbed  
against each other and paved  
their dirt road with fine  
white ash.

When had those cracks  
become more? When had they stretched  
like spider webs and tore  
their plate apart?  
When had that one – the biggest  
and furthest removed, fallen  
on top of the other two  
and squashed them flat?

And why had the two of them been  
so blind to those cracks?


	6. McGillis' Place

**Hagane  
** _6\. McGillis' Place_

They'd fitted him into the world  
but he'd never fit. He'd known that.  
They'd known that as well, even if  
they lied and turned their faces  
in scorn. Yes, there were those  
that didn't. Those that spoke plainly,  
or meant the tenderness in their tone  
but they were too few and far-between  
and not fitting into his new dream world.

They are relics. Tender relics, yes,  
but he can't afford them. They'll be  
stepping stones instead.  
If he can't fit into this place, then he'll make  
this place that fits him right.


	7. Fumitan's Eyes

**Hagane  
** _7\. Fumitan's Eyes_

She hated those clear yet clouded eyes  
but it'd been her own eyes  
that were glassed:  
glass doll eyes that see the world  
but can't paint a portrait perfect  
in their mind.

She sees the shade of the world:  
the black and the white  
and there's also grey, lots and lots  
of grey. All dreary, but she'd failed  
to notice the warm glows  
of red and yellow: that firelight  
in her eyes, in their eyes,  
that spoke of ignorance and futile  
words, but also hope and the means  
to drive that hope.


	8. Small World (Mikazuki II)

**Hagane  
** _8\. Small World_

The world was so much simpler when  
it was just the two of them.  
Still, it wasn't much.  
More people, but they followed Orga.  
More eyes that stared at him  
but only Orga's mattered.  
More people to stop and talk to him  
but he just answered back and went  
on his way.  
More people crying when someone died  
but also more living.


	9. Voice (Orga II)

**Hagane  
** _9\. Voice_

It's so easy to say he won't let them die  
but he's not a god. Not an adult either  
but a child who's got all these little brothers  
who trickle along behind…

It's so easy to say he won't let them die  
when he's one of them, when it's out  
of his hands and all he can do  
is whinge and whine

But now they are in his hands,  
precariously balanced, and  
every move matters, ever tremor  
rocks the boat upon which they're placed.

It's so easy to say, when it's someone else  
who gives the orders, but so hard  
now that it's his voice alone.


	10. Muddy Dress (Kudelia II)

**Hagane  
** _10\. Muddy Dress_

It was very different, watching a war  
from the front lines, than on a TV screen.  
It was very different, walking around  
in blood and grime, instead of pretty frills  
and amongst men with shining lapels  
and bleached smiles, there were  
smeared with oil and soil and the blood  
of their comrades buried under mud  
and she'd stopped washing the mud  
from her dress, because it hadn't  
been a bad thing at all.


	11. Nagi's Euphemisms

**Hagane  
** _11\. Nagi's Euphemisms_

He's an adult in a child's world  
and he stays there: the grandpa  
who'll pull them onto his lap  
when they cry, and bite back scolds  
when they run off into the black –

Because he's not their father.  
He's not superior to them, either.  
He's just there, with what wisdom and age  
he has beyond them and he offers it,  
like a grandfather offers the euphemisms  
they've collected all their life

Except these children are too frank  
for euphemisms.


	12. Carta's Name

**Hagane  
** _12\. Carta's Name_

She's a singularity: an adult,  
but in many ways a child  
who sees in black and white:  
the enemy, the friend,  
the one who's better,  
the one who's bad…

It doesn't matter there's a stain  
in one's shadow. What matters  
is the blood on the field.  
Doesn't matter the players  
in the back. What matters  
is the three on three duel.

But though she's a child,  
she's not like them.  
They fight without honour,  
without respect, but with love  
and a desire, stronger than hers  
to live, because hers isn't to live  
but to honour  
her parent's name.


	13. Akihiro's Family

**Hagane  
** _13\. Akihiro's Family_

They were all dispensable, he thought  
and he despaired

But they weren't.  
They were irreplaceable instead.  
Friends tied together by blood and grief  
and the battle they'd fought and won.

He could forget they were trash  
to be taken out when no longer needed.  
He forgot he wasn't trash  
and there was a wider world  
out there as well.

He forgot he'd been searching  
before he'd gotten stuck in the mud.  
Forgot someone was waiting  
for him to pluck them out  
of a sea of blood.

But now it was all gone, all changed.  
He'd meandered to long.  
He'd waited too long, and yet  
they were reunited still: reunited  
and taking again to the sea of blood  
for the new family they'd found.


	14. Battlefield (Mikazuki III)

**Hagane  
** _14\. Battlefield_

The battlefield wasn't a new place for him,  
but rather, the road he's walked  
for far too long. He sees a farm  
at the end of it. A farm with tall corn  
but it's too far away, and perhaps  
it'll always be too far away…

But the battlefield is in his past  
and future, and it's now as well:  
now where he wields Barbatos' blade

And when they say he loves it,  
perhaps he does, but what is wrong  
with that? He looks for the future, yes,  
but he lives the now.


	15. Biscuit (Orga III)

**Hagane  
** _15\. Biscuit (Orga III)_

He failed. So many dead but this one  
hits the hardest, hits him the most.

It's because he's lost a hand as well, he thinks.  
Part of his body. Part of his shadow. A voice  
in his mind that pipes up when he strays  
and pulls him back. Now it's not there

But the echoes still are, the way they've  
grown together. He'll never forget  
and the ghost will move on  
and grow as well.


	16. Fumitan (Kudelia III)

**Hagane  
** _16\. Fumitan_

She'd gotten all to used  
to that comforting presence  
at her back, that the wind  
stung when it was gone.  
Tears ran when she was gone.

She'd chased after her  
but she was a shadow  
and the streets were lit alight  
with gunpowder and flames  
reflected in pools of blood.

It was far too late  
when they'd met up again:  
the heavy weight,  
the lighter weight  
that passed between  
the two of them…

All those things she'd been  
too blind to see before  
were exposed, and more  
she'd never know.


	17. Atra's Vigil

**Hagane  
** _17\. Atra's Vigil_

She chooses the role of the observer  
of her own accord. She's found a point  
on the horizon to focus upon.  
His back is turned to her, and her footsteps  
are quiet pats on the soil,  
but he always turns back to look  
and she's always there.

She pines for him, sometimes.  
She cheers on the sidelines  
and her battles are battles of wills  
and words, instead of weapons  
and her words aren't weapons.

Sometimes, he needs someone to fight  
for him, with him, on that lonely  
battlefield.

Sometimes he just needs someone waiting  
to embrace him home.


	18. Makanai's Match

**Hagane  
** _18\. Makanai's Match_

He's no longer the chess player  
who holds all the pieces.  
He's just made the first move,  
written the first paragraph,  
and the tale continues on  
without him, growing on  
and on…

It was a good investment,  
better than he'd thought,  
better than he'd hoped…  
but it wasn't him.  
In the end, it wasn't him.

So it was only fair that,  
despite the spoils, the credit  
didn't go to him as well.


	19. Perfect Speech (Kudelia IV)

**Hagane  
** _19\. Perfect Speech_

It's the perfect stage for her and now she's there:  
not planned, not prepared, but here she stands  
and they're all listening: the eyes of the world  
upon her, waiting for her to speak…

She may be just a child but she's grown.  
She's prepared no script but it spills  
from her mouth like their journey  
had been the draft she now refined.

Even if she doesn't have it written down,  
she recites it word for word: the perfect speech,  
the perfect words, if only they're listening  
and they are listening to her.


	20. Wait for the Sun (Orga IV)

**Hagane  
** _20\. Wait for the Sun_

He finally gets to say those words,  
words he's nurtured, words he's cared  
as though it's a babe blossoming  
in his womb, as though it's the seedling  
he's watered with blood and sweat and tears.

He finally gets to say those words  
when the sky dims and the firelights  
from their guns die down, and blood  
spills into the cockpits of their defeated  
that lie and wait for the moon to come…

He'll send the sun up instead. He promises them.  
He'll send the sun to beat the moon

 _So please, wait for the sun._


	21. Resolve (Mikazuki IV)

**Hagane  
** _21\. Resolve_

He has to win this fight.

His world has shrunk down again.  
There's Orga. Kudelia. Atra.  
The three most important to him  
and they're all there.

He has to protect them.  
That's all there is.  
That and him and Barbatos's  
tough embrace.

They dance on the battlefield.  
They block the strikes.  
Too close.  
They fight back.  
Too light.

They needed more.  
Speed, fluidity, talent  
he doesn't have  
because he's just a wild kid  
with an implant.

His mind doesn't have the answer.  
That's fine. His body does. He feels it  
tingling through his fingers, from his spine.  
He feels the blood run down one eye.  
He feels one hand clamp onto metal  
and die. That's oaky; he has another eye  
and another hand, but there's only one  
Barbatos, and only one Orga,  
one Kudelia, one Atra

And only one way he can protect  
them all.


End file.
